Friday, December 29, 20063:34 PM
I Don't Know What To Say But At Least Now I Know I admire Huiping Alot ... Cause she can easily say and does what she want and no one will try to stop her , but me ? i am always faking out a smile to Everyone , even to my family ... and when i am angry with whatever thing i still need to tolerate and pretend that as thought i am not feeling a single anger and once in a while i throw my temper its seems that i was in fault but actually not ... i was only wanting to let you ppl to know i am angry , that all but end up i fail ... when i throw my temper people always think that i am petty , i am not saying i am not petty , in fact i know i am ... but why can't i just throw my temper when i want , just like Huiping ... she can easily let ppl know her emotion , feeling and even what she think ! Everyone seems use to Huiping Character and Way of Doing things and not me ... i have always hide my feeling and emotion , trying not to let others know what am thinking ... i thought this will be the best way to protect myself against Every harm , but yet till now i then discovered that it may not be the best way and it wil maybe hurt me more ! No one ever tried to understand me ... ME ... TIFFANY ! no one try to understand what kind of a person i am , and i can also tell everyone , ME .. MYSELF also don't understand MYSELF ! but i know i am not that kind of person which everyone normally see ... I am a person which always smile and laugh and try to let ppl laugh and even if i am sad and angry i will always fake out a smile to let ppl think that i am HAPPY and FINE ! but who knows inside me i am neither HAPPY nor FINE ! I am weak ... although i know i may looks strong sometimes but I AM NOT ! i am however still a GIRL ... and a girl is believe to be a weaker sex ! It Hurt me when i heard that you say you had always given in to me but the truth is i found myself given in more actually ... this let me think that whatever i done isin't as much as can be ! I really Admire Huiping , I wish i one day will be like her ... to express my emotion out to everyone ! to let everyone know what i REALLY REALLY FEEL ! but when can i be like that ? Yesterday Night , Finally i Broke Down finally i let me tears fall everywhere they want ! I cry Because My Sister Scold me .. it the don't know how many times i had been scolded by MY SISTER ! and , she is real too much ... cause my MUM and DAd had never scold me like how she did ! i felt that i am USELESS ! and , I Cried Because I PITY MYSELF ! And Yes is Pity ... but thankfully after Crying For abt 1 hr ! i manage to contact My another Bestfriend SEXY CHEN ! lol ... and manage to talk to someone about all this and at least it make me feel better ... Thank You CHEN . SEXY ! lol ... Anyway , this post it just for For a Complain ... and i took alot of time to decide whether should i post ... and at last , i think i should post ! at least let ppl know what i am thinking ! but actually in my heart i know only a few ppl or rather no ppl will Give A Damn To This Post ! God Bless Me ...
